After about 70 hours of studying this term, and another 72 hours last Elementary 1, and countless hours I studied by myself (which may already be at 200+ hours total of studying time at estimate), tomorrow’s gonna be another day for evaluation. Not just of grades, knowledge about the language, but also if I should still continue everything.
Earlier, I’m studying at Starbucks, from words to grammar. I clearly don’t have a study pattern, and it sucks real bad. I just can’t find a perfect formula. I’ve been wanting to have a study pattern because I feel like from tomorrow up till the days forward, I might just do all the studying by myself. My current school will be offering an Intermediate course, which is more than twice expensive than my current course. Not that I can’t afford it, but….. YEAH I CAN’T AFFORD IT. LOL.
But then, there would still be ways. It’s actually NOT EXPENSIVE compare to other schools, just EXPENSIVE-er than the recent and current fees. It’s just hard to shift from a Tall to a Venti *or not, ㅎㅎ* (coffee loves). It’s hard to pay for it, when I already get my salary ripped every time I leave work early for my classes. Of course it’s not arguable that everything is/would be worth it but this limitation is something that someone should consider so much, especially since I also need money for myself. My whole life’s not revolving around my Korean, you know? Or it may be, lol.
I should actually be reviewing now, but it’s just hard. Earlier, I started my review by checking the word index at the back of my book.
I would skim through it, and write down the words that I didn’t knew even existed, words that I had difficulties with, words that I keep on forgetting even if it’s at the tip of my tongue, and just that. I checked the definition from Naver online dictionary, and move on. No sentence-making, no contemplating, no crying, just define and move on. It sucks right?
And then the words got boring so I only studied words from ㄱ ~ ㅇ, and moved on to grammar. Okay kill me now.
Just to share, I’m currently drinking a huge-assed cup of milk tea which is about a liter, and also, a huge-assed cup of Iced Americano I failed to consume earlier. Now this should not deprive me of sleep or else, I’m gonna go hullabaloo tomorrow at work and at school. Or if this won’t deprive me from sleeping, I wish for my bladder to hold everything up till tomorrow morning when I wake up for work.
So how I studied my grammar then? I basically checked my book from Lesson 1 onwards, get the grammar pattern, and read it up through Korean Grammar in Use, and write it down.
In my reviewing experience earlier, I’m proud to say that “I DIDN’T LEARN ANYTHING!!! HOOORAYYYY!!” Well not really, some threads were sewn into place, but that’s just it. I basically knew everything I’ve read, and just figured out the versuses, why use this grammar pattern rather than this, etc. But then since it’s just too cold, and I’ve consumed half of my Americano and about three mugs of hot water, and I’ve peed for like more than 5 times, and consumed a whole can of Pringles, it was time to go. Same with the word index that I only finished up till ‘ㅇ’, I only finished my grammar up to Lesson 15 over 30.
WHICH is terrifying because I haven’t had problems with grammar for the first half, but we’re talking about the second half!!! Oh my gosh.
I don’t know why I’m very affected about this final exam. During my whole school life, from elementary days up till I finished college, I NEVER REVIEWED!!! Well there were times, but since I don’t remember them, it means it never happened, or it only happened half-heartedly. I don’t really review because it’s like an indirect insult to the teachers, that they don’t teach well, or their lessons are not enough to pass the exam, and that every student should’ve listened so they don’t have to review, and that teachers are so intelligent that therm asdkl ql asdaa…. OKAY I’M BASICALLY DEFENDING MYSELF AND MY… gosh.
I should just stick with my study pattern before. Don’t review.
This is what’s gonna happen. I’m blogging this now while drinking some stuff, just blog some more, blog for some more minutes, pee, blog again, pee, sleep, pee again, sleep again, wake up in the morning, feel force-festive and force-nostalgic since it would be the last day, get over it and take a bath and prepare to work, work a bit and think, contemplate, and work some more, then procrastinate, and work again, and try to review a little… panic at the bus, and cry a bit, and laugh, and get crazy, and get off the bus, and go to my school, and take that exam.
I swear I’m not gonna open my books or my notebooks anymore after posting this blog. This is why I don’t review. I get highly confused and nervous, AND CRAZY for nothing. Before, I really don’t review, but pass exams. Not because I’m highly genius *which I really am*. Not because my IQ’s at 142 *which is true*. Not because I’m lazy *which is super super true*. Not because I already look Korean *vomits*. But I just don’t prefer reviewing. I took a mock TOPIK without reviewing and passed it. Once I review, my mind starts to twist and twirl itself, trying to look for things that were originally there. Since my mind is like a harddrive, when I choose to add a file again that was and were perfectly sitting safely in there, it just tries to look for those files, and asks if I should replace them or not, confusing the whole system instead. I don’t know but this is just how I work. Of course, in time when I get more advanced, I should change this habit, but for now… *evil laughs* NO.
I would just have to enjoy my final exam tomorrow, and let’s see what happens next.